![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() "After Josh, I was just trying to push, push, push but I couldn't even go into the fitness gym. Josh was the final straw - I think it made me crack a bit. "I know it's kind of weird, maybe horrible to say, but if what happened to Josh happened to me, I would have died miserably," Ellie says with candour. It culminated in Ellie, Britain's first major all-around champion gymnast, feeling disconnected from the sport she loved. Like Becky, she felt ostracised by those within the national team set up, after the sisters sent shockwaves through the sport with their joint statement last year calling out British Gymnastics and sharing allegations of emotional abuse and weight shaming. After lockdown Ellie was blighted by a back injury and other niggles which hampered her Tokyo preparations. It was a feeling that had grown within her for months. For me, at that moment, my gymnastic spark died a little bit." "Whether you need to do something else with your life. "When such a big life event like that happens, you really kind of question everything you're doing," she says quietly. I'm not particularly sad - I’m pleased with my performance - but… I don’t know, the right word might be 'broken'."Įllie meanwhile opted out of the Olympic trials altogether, unable to imagine herself in a gym at all. "Now I've finished it's just hit me like a ton of bricks. "I think people were like 'oh, she didn't make the finals', but for me the biggest feeling after Worlds was relief. "Everyone was expecting me to do something big ," she says. Now, she finally has a moment to take a breath. Beset by grief and devastation, she trained throughout the summer for the World Championships, where last week she agonisingly missed out on the finals of the uneven bars and beam.įrom being in the form of her life, just months ago, to “burnout” and a career low, it has been a steep trajectory for Britain’s gymnastics star. Ten days after Josh's death she competed in an Olympic trial even when she was then controversially left out of the Tokyo 2020 British squad, she ploughed on. Becky, 29, did the only thing she knew and continued to train. With the family in turmoil, the two sisters found themselves mourning the loss in different ways. The Downie sisters, who are two of five siblings, saw their world turned upside down In May, their brother Josh died of sudden cardiac arrest while playing cricket, due to an undiagnosed genetic heart condition. But the pair have needed each other more than ever this year, which they describe as the "worst" of their lives. It is a familiar story of unwavering sibling support that has played out countless times over their long careers - from selection disappointments to injury woes. Offering encouragement, Ellie – a fellow world medallist and gymnast – eventually managed to coax younger sister Becky onto the flight. Instinctively, she did what she always does during tough times - phone her sister. A disjointed, injury-plagued build up to this month’s World Championships in Japan, as well as the confidence-crushing omission from the Olympic team, made her question whether she should get on the plane at all. Becky Downie was in the car on her way to the airport when the doubts started creeping in. ![]()
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